The beginning of a chapter

The time is coming. 

The time of endings and new beginnings, closing one chapter and starting another.

A new season of life…

“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing, a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace.”  Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

A time to uproot, tear down, weep, mourn, scatter, refrain, search, throw away, tear, speak, love, and war.

 

A time of uprooting my old identity, which I made myself to be, rather than who God created me to be.

A time to tear down all preconceived notions of God, of myself, and to tear down all the walls that I created.

A time to weep at all the broken memories.

A time to mourn the loss and hurt.

A time to scatter the stones and leave behind what I no longer can carry.

A time to refrain from comfort because I am called into a season of no comfort except for the comfort of the Lord.

A time to search my heart and seek God with everything that I possess.

A time to throw away all the crap that I have.

A time to speak and no longer let silence be my security blanket.

A time to love others, love God, and finally love myself.

A time of seeking my Father and a time of the enemy attacking and putting up a war to stop me!

The thought of the next season scares me, but I no longer will be letting my fear get in the way because God is love and perfect love drives out fear. (1 John 4:16-18)

True definition of love...

See the Jesus in others. 

Love others. 

 

Yet, what truly does loving another look like? 

The word love is a filler word, a word thrown around like the waves of the ocean, a word that has lost the true meaning. It is said so easily and with no attachment by humankind. 

The dictionary definition of love is a strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties. Affection based on admiration or common interest; unselfish loyalty and benevolent concern for the good of another.

This is what humankind define love as, but what does God define love as (yes, that is right, I am referring to that one passage, you know which one, 1 Corinthians 13).

‘Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.’ (V. 4-8)  This is what God defines love as.

Now love is easy to hand out to those that are easy to love; those that don’t frustrate, anger, or annoy you. However, to truly love someone that is broken, that is hurting, that is going to screw up and screw you over numerous times is where it becomes incredibly difficult. 

Our human definition of love is easy. It goes hand in hand with liking something. We love our favorite band, but then we hate them. We love chocolate ice cream, but then we love vanilla more. But the true definition of love is hard. It is loving the homeless man on the street that is addicted to meth and begging for money for more. It is loving the prostitute that is selling herself on the corner for money to take care of her kids. It is loving the woman that is snorting a line of coke in a stairwell. It is loving the friend that has stabbed you in the back. It is loving the person that drives 15 under the speed limit. It is loving the person that just rubs you the wrong way. 

Love is PATIENT, KIND, DOES NOT ENVY, DOES NOT BOAST, IS NOT PROUD, IS NOT RUDE, IS NOT SELF-SEEKING, NOT EASILY ANGERED, KEEPS NO RECORD OF WRONGS, DOES NOT DELIGHT IN EVIL BUT REJOICES WITH THE TRUTH. 

Love is FORGIVING. Love is having grace for those who don’t deserve it.  Love is just seeing the Jesus in others. 

‘Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.’ Colossians 3:13-14

The start of a new season

The past four months I have been traveling the world with 'The World Race'. I have been spreading awareness of human trafficking, working in prevention programs, doing outreach, and diving into the depths of the Lord. I have been learning numerous things about myself, about the world, and about God. Below is the last blog that I wrote on the race. It is where I am starting anew and beginning a new season.

Atlanta.

A month of new beginnings…surrendering…listening…soaking…heartache…and many tears.

I thought Atlanta would be the easiest to leave because it is America; it is the last month of ministry, because I am so close to being at home finally. Yet, Atlanta is the hardest to leave.

The Lord tore down so much of my crap and my walls this month. I was constantly broken and constantly in the sprint position just waiting to run from God and from what He was starting inside of me and stirring up. 

He told me:

~To let go of all my hurts and scars from the past

~To surrender my desires and my dreams and my wishes because it is NOT about me, but what He wants

~That the hole inside of my heart was created by Him and for Him only; that no matter how much of my own stuff I put into the hole it won’t be filled because it was created only for Him

~To just take a bite out of what He has for me…it will be sweet like a strawberry

~That I am relatable to others, not the off putting weird girl that I make myself out to be

~That He is with me always

~To find the Jesus in people and to NOT look at the lies, desires, sin, or flesh that they portray

~To love without restrictions and just give up all preconceived notions

~To not be fearful because He will never leave me or forsake me

~To give myself more grace because He has already forgiven me and sent His son for me. He already loves me so don’t dwell on my past and what I’ve done

~To fall face first on my knees in front of Him and worship Him

~That I am starting a new season of my life

~To step into the plans He has prepared for me and not be scared or anxious about what they are because He created them for me. I may be uncomfortable, but it’s not about comfort for me, but about spreading God’s GLORY! 

God, I am tired of running. I am tired of being the constant position to run from you. So I stand and I wait in silence for your voice. 

Speak Father because your daughter is finally silent and listening!