I have an obese man living inside me

Now this sounds weird I know, but let me explain this very extreme truth about me. 

First off, I have a very lacking prayer life. It is one of my constant struggles in my walk with God. To hinder this bond and relationship I have with God by not speaking to Him and giving Him my heart in this very intimate way is a hard chunk to swallow for me. I am constantly trying to improve on this, but I get lazy. I forget. I can’t think of what to say. I am a procrastinator with prayer. 

Recently while me and one of my friends were talking I told her about this struggle of mine and she told me this: 

‘It’s like a muscle. You have to work it out to make it strong and healthy’ 

This is so incredibly true! Not only prayer, but every area of my walk with Christ is like a muscle. It always has to be worked out and strengthened. The Bible continually talks about running after and striving for Christ.

‘Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.’ Philippians 3:12-14

‘Stand firm, and you will win life.’ Luke 21:19

‘Have nothing to do with godless myths and old wives' tales; rather, train yourself to be godly. For physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come.’ 1 Timothy 4:7-8

‘Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last, but we do it to get a crown that will last forever.’ 1 Corinthians 9:24-25

So while sitting on my friends red sofa I came to the realization that I have an obese man living inside my spirit. A man that is lazy, a procrastinator, that sits in front of mindless worldly things and takes in not only large amounts of food, but things of this world. My spirit takes in scripture, church, revelations, conversations, grace, love, mercy…but am I doing anything with it? Am I just letting it sit and stew while I am lazy and delay? 

I must work out my spiritual muscle to be strong, to be healthy, to run the race, and strive for Christ! I must get rid of my obese man and make him rather healthy, active, loving, and taking in as well as pouring out!

The Small Things of Life

A thought provoking question…

What stirs your affections for Christ? What makes you thank the Lord, praise who He is, something that just makes you love Him for all the small things?

-The beauty of God’s creation. A sunset, a sunrise, an endless expanse of stars, a sky full of clouds and sun, the breathtaking beauty of nature. 

-Fellowship and community with my friends. Serving them, listening to them, enjoying their presence. Good conversations.

-Driving through a thunder storm.

-The sky….just in general. In all lights, cloudy or clear, sunny or bright, full of stars or full of moon. I just love staring into the sky. 

Even the small things that seem frivolous and small compared to the bigness of God and who He is. 

-A cinnamon crunch bagel from Panera.

-A deliciously good cup of coffee in the wake of the early morning. 

-GOOD music. 

-The smell of rain, fresh cut grass, and a newly fallen layer of snow.

-Finding pictures in the clouds.

-The randomness of life! 

The list for me can go on and on. As a follower of Christ I believe that once we enter into a true relationship with Him it will be the little things that start to stir our affections for Him. We should be in a constant state of praising and glorifying our Father for who He is and what He has given us. 

‘Through Jesus, therefore, let us continually offer to God a sacrifice of praise—the fruit of lips that openly profess his name.’ Hebrews 13:15

It isn’t about rushing through life or becoming a slave to time…so just stop, breathe Him in, and praise our Lord and Savior for who He is!

Strive

 ‘Only let your manner of life be worthy of the gospel of Christ, so that whether I come and see you or am absent, I may hear of you that you are standing firm in one spirit, with one mind striving side by side for the faith of the gospel…’ Philippians 1:27

Striving: To exert oneself vigorously, try hard, make strenuous effort toward any goal, to struggle vigorously.  

Striving is not only to exert yourself and try hard, but it’s also to STRUGGLE vigorously. When I strive for something it’s a half packed punch with no energy behind it that doesn’t hit the mark and couldn’t even bruise sensitive skin. I give up easily, I get deterred easily, I get frustrated easily, and I get beat down easily by my defeat.

So to strive is already a struggle in itself, but then to strive side by side, in a community, is another struggle for an introvert like me. However, numerous times throughout the Bible God is telling us to live as one body (side by side) 

‘For just as the body is one and has many members, and all the members of the body, though many are one body, so it is with Christ. For in one Spirit we were all baptized into one body—Jews or Greeks, slaves or free—and all were made to drink of one Spirit. For the body does not consist of one member but of many.’ 1 Corinthians 12:12-14

‘For as in one body we have many members, and the members do not all have the same function, so we, though many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another.’ Romans 12:4-5

So as one body we strive together. When one slips we catch them and help them up. When one struggles we listen. When one rejoices we rejoice….

‘Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep.’ Romans 12:15-16

This week has been a week of me listening to God. 

-To be intentional with people. To put myself out there and be vulnerable.


-To struggle. Struggling isn’t a bad thing, it is what is needed of us to make it through the swim upstream.

-To build community and fellowship with my brothers and sisters in Christ. And not just the ones I am comfortable with, but all of them because we are of ONE BODY, ONE MIND, ONE SPIRIT, AND ONE HEART!

People Pleasing

“So Pilate, wishing to satisfy the crowd, released for them Barabbas, and having scourged Jesus, he delivered him to be crucified.” Mark 15:15

As a follower of Jesus are we called to satisfy the crowd (the world) or are we called to satisfy our Father? 

“For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.” Galatians 1:10

“Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind.” Romans 12:2

 “Slaves, obey your earthly masters with fear and trembling, with a sincere heart, as you would Christ,  not by the way of eye-service, as people-pleasers, but as servants of Christ, doing the will of God from the heart, rendering service with a good will as to the Lord and not to man” Ephesians 6:5-7

The Bible is clear in the answer. We are called to please our Father and to NOT conform to the ways of this world. 

It is easy to fall into the category of people pleasing. It is easy to forget about the Lord because He is not physically in front of us asking us for something or wanting something of us. The world is there instead and the world is asking something of us or wanting something of us. 

However, we need to be pleasing the Lord.

This doesn’t mean that we have to not be of service to people, as Ephesians 6:5-7 says, “Obey your earthly masters…with a sincere heart, as you would Christ, not by the way of eye-service, as people-pleasers, but as servants of Christ, doing the will of God from the heart, rendering service with a good will as to the Lord and not to man.”

The unfortunate thing of the world is that they will walk all over us. They will use us, abuse us, and completely drain us of everything that we have because we are serving them.

The revelation the Lord has revealed to me is this…that my people pleasing left me broken and feeling useless. It is in turn what caused me to create the wall that I have built up around me to keep people out. I let it rule my life and my relationships. And now I am trying to tear down this wall and become vulnerable again. I am NOT trying to please people this time around though; I am going to PLEASE AND OBEY MY GOD!

Time to tear down

“Now, brothers, I want to remind you of the gospel I preached to you, which you received and on which you have taken your stand. By this gospel you are saved, if you hold firmly to the word I preached to you. Otherwise, you have believed in vain.”   1 Corinthians 15:1-2

Have I held firmly to the gospel, to the living word, or have I held firmly to this world, to the shell that I have placed around myself? 

The extremely sad thought that passes through my mind is that I have held firmly to this world, this reality, and this wall that is consistently around me. I cling to a tough exterior. I try to be prickly, I try to be a stone, I try to be tough so that nothing can penetrate my wall because behind my wall is my heart and my heart is MY HEART. It is my property that I take care of and let nothing hurt.

It isn’t my heart though, but it is HIS HEART! It is my Father’s heart. It does not belong to me, but to my true and loving Father who created me with such care and love. He has poured His love into me. I am created in His love and His image (Genesis 1:27). 

"...a time to tear down..." (Ecc 3:3)

It is a time to tear down the wall; to stop putting out an image of being tough and like I don’t care about anything. It is a time that people see who I really am, to see the gooiness of my heart (sorry friends haha). 

It is time to hold firmly to the gospel and hold firmly to my Savior.