The spiderweb of one true friend

A day of rest has finally come to lay itself at my feet. I may have worked the morning away, but the night was filled with Christmas card addressing, catching up on Gilmore Girls, and getting some much needed me time in. As the day comes to a close, however, I find myself pondering life in the most peculiar way. My eyes flitted across the silver binding of a dusty book on the shelf. I find myself in flashback mode to the time I received my first ever Bible from one of my greatest friends Melissa. As I flash forward to now I realize that if I had never met Melissa long ago in tenth grade I would definitely not be where I am or who I am in this moment of time. 

It was first semester english with Mr. Keast and I was much different back then. I lived to be different and my style of dress definitely played the biggest part in my anti social ways. No friends to speak of and I tended to live more in the world of books, however, that all changed one blistering day with something as simple as a dictionary. 

To this day I have a deeper fondness for the dictionary because on one particular day a boy by the name of Joe threw one at Melissa and told her to put it away. The sheer rudeness of this act ticked me off so much that I grabbed the dictionary back and threw it right back at him yelling, ‘Why don’t you do it yourself?’ 

And ever since then Melissa and I have been the best of friends. Like all friendships though there were seasons of quiet from each of us. Life gets crazy and too many things become more important then taking time to see each other. Yet, every time that we got through one season we would get in touch and its as if there was no quiet time in between. 

Yet, on this night I look back and see the spiderweb of connections that I have stemming from my friendship with Melissa. I have expanded my friendship circle to some amazing girls that I miss (they are adventuring their life in Colorado). I have come to know and love Christ as my Savior. I was able to experience four life changing months in Asia working to put a stop to Human Trafficking with amazing people. I was able to meet a wonderful man that loves God and became my husband only two and a half years ago. 

I am who I am because ten years ago two people saw something similar in one another and became friends. You never know what your impact will be on those who call you friend. If I never threw a dictionary at a boy named Joe then I wouldn’t be sitting here now as a Christ loving married girl named Ashley. 

Fall: a time of reflection

The best time of the year is just around the corner…changing leaves, brisk breezes, apple picking, hard cider, nights filled with bonfires, and it’s the time of the year where I can wear my favorite wardrobe (my closet overflows with scarves and boots awaiting this time). This is the time of the year that my husband and I take the long drive Up North to bask in the change of colors and the fresh lake air that rolls off the waves. My husband picks up his bow and embarks, with the light of dawn, into the woods to steadily stalk the deer.

The fall is the time of year where things begin to slow down and become prepared for the bitter fingers of winter. I used to look as this time as a time of dying. All the green was fading and falling, the sun was setting earlier, and the dark lasted longer, and right after this came the bitter cold of a Michigan winter.  

I would crave the blooming of flowers and the long lasting kiss of the sun on my skin once September hit. Yet, what I didn’t realize about the end of the year is that all the beautiful things in nature around me must slow down and just stop for a period of time so that they are refreshed afterwards. Not only must nature do it, but we humans should take a page out of their book and do the same thing. In the crazed go go go world we live in, where do we have a moment to just stop and let our souls and body become refreshed again. 

Fall isn’t only for the orchards, the cider, the bonfires, or the best wardrobe…its for the time to just stop, take a breath, reflect, and rest for the upcoming time of life. 

As this time of the year rolls around again I prepare myself for a restful period so that at the end of the cool fall and bitter winter I am refreshed and have become anew again.  

Things Above

I started this post today with the intentions of discussing my insights on what heaven will be like. I have come to realize, however, that heaven cannot be explained in mere words. Even the scriptures barely scratch the surface of this for us as believers in Christ. I can say this though: Heaven will be glorious! As believers we will finally come face to face with our Savior. In His place seated next to God we will come and kneel before our King. Just to imagine it I cannot fully comprehend the images. Even John, who was taken into Heaven in Revelations, was struck silent at His appearance: 

 ^'On the Lord’s Day I was in the Spirit,and I heard behind me a loud voice like a trumpet, which said: “Write on a scroll what you see and send it to the seven churches: to Ephesus, Smyrna, Pergamum, Thyatira, Sardis, Philadelphia and Laodicea.” I turned around to see the voice that was speaking to me. And when I turned I saw seven golden lampstands, and among the lampstands was someone like a son of man, dressed in a robe reaching down to his feet and with a golden sash around his chest. The hair on his head was white like wool, as white as snow, and his eyes were like blazing fire. His feet were like bronze glowing in a furnace, and his voice was like the sound of rushing waters. In his right hand he held seven stars, and coming out of his mouth was a sharp, double-edged sword. His face was like the sun shining in all its brilliance.  When I saw him, I fell at his feet as though dead. Then he placed his right hand on me and said: “Do not be afraid. I am the First and the Last. I am the Living One; I was dead, and now look, I am alive for ever and ever! And I hold the keys of death and Hades.' Revelation 1:10-18

Oh, the beauty! How I cannot wait for the day where I behold my King. 

So with all this beauty awaiting us, why do some people live like heaven is only for after our flesh dies? Shouldn't we be living with heaven in mind daily? And if we are, then shouldn't we be treating others as if we were in heaven? 

Colossians 3:2 says to ^'Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.' 

And what is something that is above…LOVE. For God is love and in heaven we are with God and with his Son, our Savior who bled for us. 

So as believers we should be living with heaven in mind daily because this then leads to loving others as we are loved by God. It means loving the friend who turned their back on you. It means loving the person who gossips about you. It means loving the man on the corner begging for money. It means loving the guy that cut you off in his rush. Its means loving a sinner as you yourself once was.  

We are able to love only because God first loved us (1 John 4:19)  

The Waterfall of His Love

Christ made the ultimate sacrifice for me, for you, for the entire world. He gave himself up on the cross to be beaten, abused, and crucified so that in the shedding of his blood we are covered and made white as snow.

“God presented Christ as a sacrifice of atonement, through the shedding of his blood…” Romans 3:25

“But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near by the blood of Christ.” Ephesians 2:13

His sacrifice for us is the ultimate act of love. 

“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.” John 3:16

“…but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Romans 5:8

“But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ— by grace you have been saved…” Ephesians 2:4-5

In the hectic times of life this truth can be forgotten to me. I become so wrapped in the blankets of routine, work, and just plain day to day living. God always finds an interesting way to remind me of these facts and recently at church during worship He filled my soul with this picture…

His sacrifice is His love for us and more things waterfall out of this love. 

He is our hope and His love gives us hope 

“…hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure.” Hebrews 6:19

 “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead” 1 Peter 1:3

“Dear friends, now we are children of God, and what we will be has not yet been made known. But we know that when Christ appears, we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is. All who have this hope in him purify themselves, just as he is pure.” 1 John 3:2-4

 

 His love has set us free

 

 “So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.” John 8:36

  

“For we know that our old self was crucified with him so that the body ruled by sin might be done away with, that we should no longer be slaves to sin— because anyone who has died has been set free from sin.” Romans 6:6-8

 “Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.” 2 Corinthians 3:17

“It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.” Galatians 5:1

A well of living water flows through us

 

“…but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life.” John 4:14

 “Whoever believes in me, as Scripture has said, rivers of living water will flow from within them.” John 7:38

He is the true light and we walk by His light out of the darkness

“But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.” 1 Peter 2:9

 

“When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.” John 8:12

“Yet I am writing you a new command; its truth is seen in him and in you, because the darkness is passing and the true light is already shining. Anyone who claims to be in the light but hates a brother or sister is still in the darkness. Anyone who loves their brother and sister lives in the light, and there is nothing in them to make them stumble.” 1 John 2:8-10

 

God is love and he sent down his Son to be love for us. We are a new creation through his love and sometimes this can be forgotten in the daily living. We must remember His love for us because his love for us has given us the will to love others. Our daily living involves loving others, so to forget these facts can be detrimental to our life. 

 

Therefore, remember Christ. Remember His sacrifice. Remember His love.

Old Scars

My world felt shattered after I was deleted out of what I called my home. The place I  met Jesus, made friends, dreamed dreams, and started on a whole new path for my life. Its been a little over a year now since I said my peace and walked away from a situation that broke my heart. Yet, even though I walked away, my heart still breaks for what could of been. It feels as if I torture myself sometimes with the what ifs, I can start traveling down the rabbit hole of questions and get lost. When I come up for air I feel as if I have cut open an old scar. Yet, has it really even healed yet though? 

I felt as if I was drowning afterwards. I had no life boat to reach for. No hands reached for me. I felt so alone. I just let the waves take me. 

I wasn't alone however! The bible talks constantly about God being with us always. He doesn't leave us or forsake us...

'Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go' Joshua 1:9

'...so I will be with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you.' Joshua 1:5

'...I am with you and will rescue you,' declares the LORD. Jeremiah 1:8

God is a God of comfort (2 Corinthians 1:3) and in my time of hurt He comforted me when I turned my face away from the hurt that comes from this world and towards his magnificent bright and shining light. 

Why do I blog about this you ask? 

Because I think about that scar almost everyday. I think about the home I lost and sometimes I forget the beautiful things that came out of it.

•  Learning about Jesus
• Declaring my love for Christ 
• The provision for my first mission trip
• my husband

Is the scar fully healed yet? No, but one day it will be because all things happen for a reason. I may have hurts from being pushed out, but those hurts made me stronger and taught me more. So, don't give me. Don't let go. Hold fast and persevere because out of all pain comes something beautiful. 

The Married Life

Eight months.

253 days.

6,072 hours.

Since I said I do to the man I love. People often ask me how the married life is and I tend to come up with a generic answer for them. It seems that my tongue can't form the words that my heart feels.

I say things like...

‘It's the same as when we were dating’

‘All we did was sign a piece of paper, where's the difference’

‘It's great’

‘I love it’

Why does my tongue say these but my heart screams out something so contrary to these utterances?

Marriage is so much more than what we had while dating. It isn't only a legal document; it is more than what our world views it as today.

“Marriage should be honored by all…” Hebrews 13:4

Our world doesn’t honor marriage anymore. Our culture has dimmed it down to nothing more than a legal document that can be voided out by another legal document when the going gets tough.

Marriage is two becoming one. It is…

"...the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and then closed up the place with flesh. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.

The man said,

“This is now bone of my bones
    and flesh of my flesh;
she shall be called ‘woman,’
    for she was taken out of man.”

 That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.” Genesis 2:21-24

I became a part of my husband. He became a part of me. We are one flesh and we are united together under the eyes of God. “So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” Matthew 19:6

The last eight months has been more than a piece of paper signed; it has altered my life and my being. The act of saying I do has made me a completely new person combined with my husband. We have become one. All my faults and my weaknesses are only diminished in the sight of my husband and our love for each other because…

 ^“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her  to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word,  and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.  In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.  After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church—for we are members of his body.  “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”  This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church.” Ephesians 5:25-32

Our marriage and all marriages are a representation of Christ and his bridegroom the Church. 

This makes my heart sing and jump and tumble and roll with joy! The thought of this is so beautiful. 

So next time I get asked the question of ‘how is the married life’ I’ll have to sit down with a cup of coffee and explain the beautiful intricacies of my marriage and the act of marriage because it is so much more than a simple document.

One Day I Will Soar

I get mesmerized by the birds sometimes; I sit and stare blankly out the window and watch them soar through the vast open sky, and I long for that freedom to soar without any inhibitions. To just be! 

Yet, even though I crave this, the fear still finds a way to roll in like a deep dense fog that I can't maneuver my way out of. This fear of the unknown starts to sink into the pit of my being and I start to worry. I start to question. How can I ever be so carefree? I have bills, responsibilities, a job, and so many facets to my day to day living that I can't ignore. Yet, God tells us not to worry:

“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?" -Matthew 6: 25-27

And in this worrying that I do I gain nothing. 

'Look at the birds of the air...your heavenly Father feeds them.' He takes care of them. The birds soar through the air and live so freely, they do not sow or reap or store away. That is what I, as a human, do. I worry about the future and choose not to live in the present. I choose not to be free. Yet the Bible tells me clearly that I am...

'So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.' John 8:36

'It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.' Galatians 5:1

'Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.' John 8:32

I am made free in Christ.

I can soar like the birds.

When the doubts roll in and I find myself only staring at the birds instead of soaring like them, I will turn to my Savior and feel the breath of freedom rush past my face like the cool breeze in the sky.